Writing, is a form of release for me. As I think when I walk, I wonder how perfect it would be if I could only write those things down instead of just speaking to myself. As I spent one too many Wednesday nights by myself, years back in Calcutta, I discovered 'Sex in the City', after the 9 o' clock movie on HBO. I loved how Carrie Bradshaw sounded so confident in her ramblings, and how those ellipses always showed up at just the right time.
I had always wanted to write with the same fluidity. Some things are never that easy for me.
You know how some people aren't even aware of the things that they should keep in mind while trying to do the most convoluted of things, and yet get away without a speck of a problem? Well, try my life, where catching a bus at the right time will require planning hours beforehand. If you don't get what I mean, well let's just give me a break this time and pretend to get what the whole deal is about. And in the off chance that you get what I say, let God bless you then.
For example, I think I have screwed up my finger for life, and I have no idea if the health insurance here covers it. Well this is the deal about U.S., I have no frikkin clue when it comes to doctors and hospitals and accident reports and filling out of forms. 21 years in India, not one broken bone. Two months into my immigration nightmare and I am down with a terminally damaged finger. I am tempted not to believe in fate. Why? Even if 20% of my life is left at the mercy of luck, I'll be dead in two weeks.
Yes, I am overwhelmed, overwhelmed by it all. And freaked by the prospect of struggling this way through the rest of life. Who knows what is up next...a dead dog? puke on my carpet? a job that never came along?
Well, yeah - Beyond.Help!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Woman who couldn't Sleep
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2 comments:
:)
Life is always hard in a distant land. Eerything is new and we don't have a clue. The important thing is to take it one step at a time...Hope ur finger is better now. And see the doctor soon, maybe in the student clinic or something.
BTW you write well girl!! Cheer up :)
Hi - I found your blog from the review written over at Ask & Ye Shall Receive. I'm a 26-year-old Jewish American turned Israeli. I left my home, I left my family to move to Tel Aviv, and attempt to get a masters degree and a life. And I know *exactly* what it's like to be far away from everything familiar and trying to learn the system.
Sometimes it feels like you're barely keeping your head above water, right? That at each new turn, you're trying to learn how this institution or that institution works? What you're entitled to, and what you're not? Where to go in a particular situation and what to do?
Yeah, I know. Also, I grew up in the States (I left at age 24), so if you need help, advice, suggestions, whatever...feel free to ask.
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