"Girl you Need Epmotion*..."

There was always a chance I wouldn’t turn out ok. Well I guess that didn’t hold out and I managed to touch some line in the vicinity of near sanity.

There was this one time when Calcutta suffocated me. So I had to get out of there. And now Delhi is killing me. So it’s probably a good thing that I have found my way out of this place before I went bonkers again. It is not like I am impulsive, or adventurous or even open to change. But somehow I have gotten into this groove where things tend to push me down until I hit round bottom. Now, what those things are – well that deserves a different round of speculations. So right now I am just harping onto the fact that I am finally moving on with my life after 2 years of grueling stagnancy. It’s interesting when you see things changing right before your eyes. And in about 20 days when I cross 3 continents en route to my new home, I will practically sift through like a thousand different time zones, wondering if this is what time travel might feel like.

So until that happens, I am too preoccupied with myself and my whacked out emotions to try and write about anything that isn’t remotely related to the convoluted-ness of the inner workings of my defragmented brain.

I guess two things can happen now. I either get hit on my head by the sheer momentum of the change and all the culture shock when I land in the U.S. Or? I find peace in what I do and where I reach. Either way this space should get more interesting. And I will probably be able to get on with what I actually intended to with this blog.

Well talking of real intentions, I guess I never really mentioned it.

Okay, it so happened that I was aware that packing up and moving halfway across the world was a pretty heavy decision, and I needed to somehow absorb the significance of it all in my own sardonic way. So, I started writing. Writing in preparation for the change that I had dreaded yet hoped for, a long time now. As I transfer from India to U.S. this Fall, I intend to turn this space into a kind of a journal. Well, I know it sounds corny, but I think I needed something that kept a record of all the things I encounter and all the things I wish to experience. So despite my disjointed rambling here this morning, I guess it was time to ‘Come Out’.

And the self-involvement will subside. It will.

Or so I keep telling myself.

So as an ending note, and keeping in mind the newly revealed nature of this blog, I will bitch about how I nearly had a nervous breakdown day before yesterday because I simply refused to study.

It wasn’t much different yesterday when I pranced around the entire evening and hoped the complexities of ‘Post-Transcriptional Modification’ would register into my brain by pure sublimation.

And today seems to be the worst. I have an exam, my last exam in India in less than 3 hours. And I am far from confident. But somehow that does not prevent an odd sensation of euphoria from sinking into the very core of my spine, deluding me into believing I absolutely do not need to study anymore.

Well I guess putting that it into words helped, because now the euphoria is giving way to hunger – which can be vaguely translated into some signal for urgency. Okay, now all I need to do is take one step at a time and find my way back to the ‘Strategies for Gene Cloning’.

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*Epmotion - you've got to see this.

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