When you are a steady blogger, you are supposed be completely comfortable with yourself and your writing when you are putting yourself out there, aren't you?
Funny, coz it doesn't seem to be happening to me.
My stream of thought through the process of dishing out one crappy post:
Is this too self involved?
Damn right it is.
But isn't it meant to be that way?
Oh, man who is going to even glance here anyway, who cares if it is self involved.
I'd just rather mess with the template and hope it looks pretty
No. Frikkin. Point.
Grey's Anatomy...
...Patrick Dempsey...
...Ellen Degeneres...
...Chicks in Ties...
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.
.
.
??
Through the end of it I wonder if I should just screw it and spill my guts out. And then I realise for like the 700th time, I am still in college, surrounded by like a million people, many of whom have the ability to screw my life up, so I actually cannot write anything I should actually write about.
So now I look for things that I can in fact write on.
.
.
.
.
.
.
After like 15 minutes I find something, spew out some crap about it then, coz I have lost interest already. Because I cannot write about the stuff that I wanted to in the first place (how many times will you have to hear that, right? Yeah I am a mean whino). And then I make like a thousand typos which I edit and re-edit and then again edit the re-edits.
So everything that ends up here (in freakishly long sentences which make literary critics cringe dangerously) reads of my battle with my intellect to churn out something interesting from something so phenomenally boring and snooze inducing that I almost puke a little myself.
There you have it.
I am just that hopeless a case.
4 comments:
No, you're not hopeless. You're just wanting to do one thing, and instead doing something else you're not happy with. Maybe start a new blog? With complete anonymity? Then e-mail me when you do? Because I want to follow you over there.
And? Just be true to yourself. If you want to purge/vent, do it. Those who appreciate you will still do so even after your words hit the blogverse.
Yeah, I have thought of starting something new, but too much on my plate already with college and all.
Maybe sometime soon
I would have gone with 'Chicks in Ties.'
When I blog, it just kinda spills out. It's only after the comments trickle back that I'm struck by the thought of..."Oh my...someone actually reads this crap...."
Well that 'spilling out' is exactly what I seek.
I wish it could be that 'in the flow' for me.
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