The internet wasn't functional for the last four days. Seems funny? quite understandable.
Currently I am living out a self induced phase of acute depression. Well not so much living out, coz it just started today. But I see all the symptoms line up to form a perfect grid.
- I take pleasure in maintaining the annoyingly sullen expression on my face.
- Starvation is mandatory.
- And anything that makes me comfortable can pretty much go to hell.
Why?
Well I just realized today what a huge eff-ing a-hole some people can be.
And I am affected by this observation more than I ever thought I could be.
Okay, this is for those times when I go through this post in the future when I can't in the world figure out whatever went wrong on this day.
So, future Ishani, listen...this is the day you had your Final examination for your Biochemistry and Molecular biology Lab, 5th Sem. And this is the day, your brain withered of disgust at how much you could disrespect a certain individual. Well, he did ask for it. That’s beside the point here though.
The exam sucked so bad that you couldn't manage to polymerize the Stacking Gel for your SDS-PAGE electrophoresis. After 7 trials.
This is the day you weren't allowed to open in mouth in your Oral Q&A session.
This is the day in which, you in a humph, decided to stop studying for your Final exams. Well, do tell me how that worked out.
Anyway, yesterday I found out our I-20s are on their way and are done being processed. Some people are facing problems with their transfer applications due to minor errors. One of them is a friend, and a few of them my classmates. This makes me feel like I should jump around in happy jig or something. Now that I am finally transferring. But it also makes me realise where I stand as far as my knowledge is concerned and how far I need to get from here, to be as much as even looked at when I leave the country.
Because, now? I am clueless as to how I am ever going to be in the vicinity of being close to finishing with my course work. Though I never whine about it. I used to be happy about the fact that I don't whine, but now I feel guilty of not having any feeling whatsoever about lagging so far behind in my work that the work isn't even visible distinctly. It all seems like an unannexable territory, with all it's details bleared out into its smudgy outlines.
Oh Happy Day.
I never knew a day could suck this much. It is like one of those surreal, neck-jerking dreams you get early morning, which seem so hackneyed by the movies, that it seems impossible to be true.
Ah,well.
Incidentally, I can't believe I wrote this much inspite of such sullenness. Crabbiness really plays with my mind, I think. It makes me adventurous and bold. I tell people off, people who probably needed it for a long time, but I never managed to convince myself to blast their glands out.
Hmm, Crabiness does have it's perks. Hmm-mmm. Interesting.
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