Who is she? And she said what?!

I have been thinking. Being social is like an artform you need to be really good at.
I am not very good at maintaining contact. As long as someone makes his/her presence felt, I am all for it. But I simply will not go out of the way befriending someone. Well, it probably has got a lot to do with the fact that I am generally a very insecured person.
I think everything through like thirty seven times and run all the possible outcomes in my head a seven hundred times before I even prepare to do something potentially substantial.
Sometimes I look at the people around me and wonder how many of them will actually have something, anything to do with me even two years down the line. My old friends have almost become just a part of my memory and I wonder if this was inevitable. But as far as they are concerned, I really do love them all and I believe that I will be able to relate to them whenever it is that I meet them.
What bothers me is that I don't know if this is normal. I don't know if I am supposed to shut myself up this way. Rather, I don't know where the problem lies - me, or the people being indifferent. I wonder if this is a problem at all as per any other rational human being. I often delude myself into believing that anything that may have gone wrong between me and somebody is quite obviously a result of my immense crapheap of emotional and psychological baggage. I recently found out that this isn't the case everytime. I wish I could look into peoples' minds to catch a glimpse of what makes us different in terms of intellect and thought.
Often during my routine solitary walks, words reels through my head as if my senses guide my mind to speak to me. I hear things that sound poetic. They gush out of my chest and moisten my eyes. I talk to my mind and wish I could be that expressive in real life.
Anyhow, now I really need to get back to my Immunoglobulins and explore their convoluted structures, and shall suspend the brainstorming for now.
Happy Saturday.