Suddenly I get this feeling that I may be losing out on a lot. I have been terribly sick for the past 4 days, and it’s like being in a trance. I have no recollection of what has been happening and how my family has been in such a great deal of chaos lately. I cannot believe I have written so less lately. Somehow it all seems very unreal.
Right now I’m still suffering from what seems to be the symptoms of the viral fever that I have been struggling to get rid of. My brain literally feels as though it may have detached itself from the skull and is in a state of constant undeterred motion. Yeah I’m still reeling under the impact of a complete physical and emotional breakdown, and the latter keeps coming back in spurs.
I have like millions of tons of jobs to finish, but right now I feel liberated enough not even to consider looking into them for another week or so. Now, that is just plain weird. I have always been such a control freak, there are rarely any occasions where I haven’t worried about every possible outcome and perform a typical thumping-Tom moment in my head.
I feel dead, but it’s not depressing. I feel detached from the world, from the girl talking animatedly to me, from the dust settled on my table, from the dried spices in my soup cup, from the shoes I step on every time I step out of the bed, from the boarding passes lying uselessly in all the drawers, from peanut butter bottle that has been lying open since Thursday.
I see people who feel better, and oddly enough, I don’t care.
No comments:
Post a Comment